I am Probably the Worst Golfer in the World

First published August 26th 2013

Unless you can tell me different?

As you know I’ve been having some trouble hitting the ball off the tee …

So at my 30 minute lesson on Friday I asked the pro for some driving tuition and found out that my grip had slipped


So we sorted that out and I hit some woods on the driving range, with good distance and consistant slice, using anti-slice woods

I don’t think either of us were particularly happy with my “progress”

Today, I stood on a proper 18 hole golf course for the first time ever, at Grange over Sands …

It’s a 5,872 yard par 70 v Crook where I’ve been er, honing my skills, which is a 4,220 yard par 63

And I tried to play like a golfer, taking woods off the tees

Big mistake …

I might as well get this bit out of the way and post my score



  • My rebuilt grip meant that my swing felt odd, almost every time … (later Mike told me that my hands were way in front of the club head)
  • Most of my drives put me in trouble, anywhere from 10 – 180 yards off the tee and in the rough
  • It’s depressing when you’re the worst player of three and you know that you’re not in synch when you’re partners are playing decent shots


  • I didn’t miss a single putt from 3-4 feet
  • Unless I hit a tree, my shots out of the rough were pretty good
  • From the fairway, or semi-rough 30-70 yards out, I’m pretty good, unless I top the ball, which happens 1 out of 5 times
  • I hit my first ever bunker shot, out onto the green. It was a flat lie and a shallow bunker
  • I learned a lot, mainly that I’m trying to play shots that are beyond my limited capability
  • I don’t care that I was crap, it gives me a marker to improve upon ( yep I know there’s no such thing as a 70 handicap)
  • I’ve gained a little experience on a real golf course

Where do I go from here?

I have no playing partners tomorrow, so I plan to go to the driving range and practice 5 iron to pitching wedge only …

Then go to Crook for a round on my own, without the woods

I’m thinking that if I limit my backswing, I can punch a 6 iron 150 or so and cut out a lot of errors …

And maybe that’s wahat I have to do until I get some confidence going

Because (in the medium term) even at a 500 yard par 5, that’s 3 approach shots and a chip to the green, 2 putt and it’s bogey golf

But having done this before, I know that it limits the height that can be generated on a shot, so it sort of feels like cheating

However …

I’m playing at Barrow golf club on Wednesday with a 26 handicapper who’s just spent a week in Turkey playing golf

Every day …

So my very short term strategy is fairways and greens to the detriment of what I see as proper golf.

It’s frustrating, but I think I might just be a slow learner:

The first 100 or so shots that I loosed off at a clay pidgeon, all missed …

I went on to eventually shoot very well in competitions

My first half dozen skiing holidays were frustrating in the extreme as I floundered around like a fish out of water …

Now I’m happy to launch myself down most black runs, just for the thrill of it and any black run if that’s where we’re heading

I played the same bloke at tennis, back in the day, for 7 years, before I eventually won a match …

Now I’m hard to beat unless you’re a county player

When I tried rock climbing at the age of 16, it terrified me, and I gave it up …

I returned to the sport 25 years later and was soon climing in the lower extreme grades

And maybe I should make some allowance for the fact that I’m 53 …

Not 23

The whole thing makes me smile though …

And I can’t wait to try again

Isn’t that what it’s all about?